harry porter and the hotel
by devilicangel
Summary: a parody i came up with one fine day
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: well i don't own the original characters, they belong to jk rowling, i just tweaked their names a little.   
  
  
Harry Porter worked in a hotel. He ported bags from the lobby to the guest's rooms. He had no recollection of his parents, but had grown up in the hotel for as long as he could remember. The only clue he had was a frequent vision, of different flashing colours, and a roar. He was bespectacled, had an a really nice fringe (curtains like ben a1), and was tall and lanky. he was 16.   
  
One day, while he was walking down the corridor, something hit him from behind his head. "OW! what the ****[censored]?!?!" he held his throbbing head and looked up. What? A suitcase with wings was suspended in mid-air. Harry looked down the coridor. Nobody was there. He looked back at the suitcase. The suitcase looked at him. He grabbed at the suitcase and the suitcase burst open. Out fluttered a tiny sheet of paper. "One stupid large suitcase hit my head just to deliver a TINY NOTE?!?!?! MY hair!!!!!!! argh!!" he cried in frustration, trying to get his really REALLy nice hair back into place. he read the minute print on the paper. "Hello Mr. Porter. You are the chosen one. Please proceed to the laundry department and look out for your advisor, Ms Hermione Stranger."  
  
Harry thought hard. He knew all the girls/ladys/guys/boys/etc from the laundry department. But he had never heard of this "ms stranger." thus he concluded that the person he was looking for was a girl/lady, and would be a strange stranger called Hermione. Feeling a little bewildered yet amused by the whole incident, he made his way down to the laundry department... 


	2. the dungeon

As he made his way down the corridors, his hands were placed protectively on the back of his head, in case anymore accidents involving flying suitcases occured again. As he strided towards his destination, a small figure came into view. Harry groaned.  
  
it was Reeko Ofoil, his arch enemy who was the cook's helper. He had platinum blonde hair and was short and looked like a chipmunk.Reeko sneered. "what's wrong porter? suitcases hitting your head?" Harry glared. "you have no idea,"he said. and then he added, "By the way, you reek of oil." and scrambled away as fast as he could.  
  
Harry finally arrived at the laundary department and he peeked in through the door. Sure enough, a strange stranger was sitting at the table. She had pink sleek hair, and was kind of tall, and really blue eyes. And something about her seemed... strange. This must be Hermione Stranger. She looked up and remarked, "ah, porter, you're here. come over." Porter cautiously made his way over. Hermione gestured for him to sit. He sat. She pressed a button on the table. He looked at the button. The floor dropped. He screamed. And screamed. And screamed. His hands flailed around. So while they were dropping through mid-air, hermione remarked, "Gosh i didn't expect the chosen one to be so... scared. there's no other word for it." Harry gave her a stare. Actually, it wasn't the shock of the floor dropping that caused him to scream. After the suitcase incident, he thought that nothing could shock him. He was screaming because... "MY HAIR!!! AAARRRRGH!!! THIS IS THE SECOND TIME IN THE DAY MY HAIR HAS BEEN MESSED UP!!! ARGHHH!!" Hermione rolled her eyes.   
  
So ANYWAY the floor had came to a stop, and they seemed to be deep underground. Harry put his hair back into place and looked around. It looked exactly like a dungeon. Hermione said, "Well i guess i should explain what you're here for, but first, you gotta choose your sidekick." She reached for another button. Harry backed away quickly and hugged the wall in case anymore floor dropping incidents occured. Luckily, this time, a wall at the opposite end of the dungeon turned. Flashing lights lit up the dungeon.  
  
Porter stared and his mouth dropped open. what in the world was a cat-walk stage doing in there?! But he didn't have time to ponder over this as four models strutted out. They were all guys. Hermione said, "ok, choose a number from one to four." Harry thought. "er... 3." Model number 3 stepped out. He had lots of freckles and had rusty coloured hair. "Model number three's name is Ron Whistley and will be your sidekick. His functions include helping you to carry baggage and whistling any tune in the world. For your entertainment." Harry tested it out. "Oops i did it again," he said. Ron whistled. "cool." said Harry. Ron smiled, and said "no prob." 


	3. the mission

hermione said, "ok, let's get down to business." She gestured Harry and Ron towards a table that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. They sat down. Refreshments appeared. Harry asked, "So... what's with the whole chosen one thingy?" Hermione cleared her throat and coughed. "Well... it's quite stupid actually, when i come to think about it. It all started with your hair." Harry's hands flew up protectively to his hair and stroked it tenderly. Hermione continued in a brisk manner. "Well once there was this evil person called Mouldyvort and he had this super weapon." She shuddered. "The weapon was... a pair of scissors. But it was no ordinary pair of scissors. He went around cutting people's hair... and after that his victims would all vanish. Your parents tried to protect you but.. he made them disappear. But when he tried to get to you... something happened. The scissors broke and his power vanished. And he vanished. But evidence shows that he is coming back. And it seems that he's plotting it all.. in this hotel." 


	4. the room

Harry gasped. How could this be? Mouldyvort... in this hotel? Hermione got up from the chair and made her way to the other side of the dungeon. A door materialised. She walked through the door. Harry stared. What was the point of having a door when you could walk through it? But there was no time to ponder over this as hermione said, "COME ON!" in an impatient tone. Harry walked to the door. and walked through it. A further surprise awaited him.  
  
There lined up in one row, were people. But they weren't ordinary people. They were frozen in a very very weird position. All their faces wre covered with a stony expression, and their mouths wide opened. They glowed a different colour every few seconds. Harry frowned. They reminded him of something... something he had seen while on holiday in a tropical country.... 


End file.
